Kidnap Capital World Tour Countdown Day 11

L.L. Bean is a fine American company and my go to label for my father every Christmas and birthday.  But does Stanford University really think I'm wearing L.L. Bean on The World Less Traveled tour kicking off on the 24th of this month?  So I went to Ralph Lauren in Palo Alto for the first time in twenty years.  Sting was crooning away "When We Dance" which made me feel lonely, dejected and cynical.  I made my way over to the sale room and found polo shirts with sequined Ralph Lauren polo player emblems.  He sure is making his clothes smaller these days.  I used to get away with size 2.  It's not me, it's Ralph. Then I found some denim shirts and some cool white pants that zip at the ankle to give a boot flair. At the advice of my friend Phoebe, I headed over to North Face.  Not exactly terra firma.  I bought some sunscreen style long sleeved tops and some way ugly pants that zip from long to short.  Enough said.  Then I went to Footwear Etc. on University Avenue.  "I don't want to hold up the others in my group trip around the world, so please find a pair of walking shoes and sandals for me.  You know what I need.  I don't."  The sales lady was terrific.  Five stars for her.  My Chanel gold pedicure looked ridiculous in my ultra comfy ultra ugly Finn Comfort sandals.  When I got home, I pulled out two Rodarte dresses, and a Chanel shirt, blouse and cardigan. Now I'm feeling better.  My ex-boyfriend for a reason Max told me that a few years ago I could get ransomed in some of the places I'm going to for twenty camels, but that now it may be twelve.

Here's my intinerary:

• Tahiti
• Papua New Guinea
• Brunei
• Burma
• Saudi Arabia
• Lebanon
• Senegal
• Columbia
• Cuba

Valentine's Day in Havana at a table for one.  Don't cry for me, Argentina?